399: Dating with a Stutter & Self-Harm Scars

Hello, friends!

In today’s episode, we tackle two profound listener questions that may resonate with many of you:

Navigating Dating with a Stutter: A 38-year-old listener shares their struggles with stuttering, particularly how it impacts their dating life. They often need months to work up the courage to ask someone out and lose confidence if they stutter while doing so. We explore the nature of stuttering, its psychological impacts, and offer practical advice on managing anxiety, building self-confidence, and embracing one’s uniqueness in social contexts.

Overcoming Self-Harm Scars and Building Confidence: Another listener, who self-harmed from ages 12 to 15, describes the ongoing shame they feel about their visible scars, which has affected their dating life and social activities. They seek advice on how to overcome this fear and become more open about their past. We discuss strategies for self-acceptance, the importance of vulnerability, and ways to reframe scars as symbols of resilience and survival.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the full show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode399


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Full Transcript

[00:01:00] Alright. Hello friends of all varieties. Thank you so much for joining me today. This is episode 399. I hope that you are doing well. Here’s a reminder: If you want to send me a question for the show, head over to Duffthepsych.com and use the contact form there. Or you can send me an email to duffthepsych@gmail.com. I’ve gotten some good questions lately, but I am always looking for more. So if you haven’t sent in a question yet, now’s your time. I would greatly appreciate it. I wanted to let you know I do have some interviews queued up. None yet. I was going to have one for this week, but something happened and it had to get rescheduled, as is the case. But I have, what, three, I think three or four lined up. As long as everything goes smoothly, we should be having some interviews popping up with a lot of very interesting people. So I’m excited about that. Thank you all for checking in on me. Those of you who heard the last episode or saw my updates on social media and wanted to check in on how I’m doing. I am much better. You could probably hear it. Or at least I can hear it. I can essentially breathe through my nose again [00:02:00], which is awesome. I don’t need to get into too much of what I’ve been doing to take care of myself, but I’ve been taking much better care of myself. And I did want to mention one use case for ChatGPT. Cause you guys know I’m all about using the AI tools to make things easier. ChatGPT, if you have the app on your phone, it’s a really, really great resource for health-related things. Like so I have two different chats going. One is a blood pressure log because I’m, you know, keeping track of my blood pressure. And when I upload a picture of my readout from my little blood pressure machine from the drug store, it automatically puts it into a table and it logs it with my other ones with the time and everything like that. So it’s super quick and easy. I don’t have to really tell it anything. I’d say, okay, here’s my reading, send a picture. It automatically puts it into a table, which is great. Then I can export that table as, you know, an Excel file, print it out, or send it to my doctor, whatever I need to do. So obviously there are other apps that do this, but I like that I can just do it on the fly, send it a picture, And it’s very easy. Another [00:03:00] use case that I’ve been using it for is as a food log. And this is really great because, you know, obviously there’s no one size fits all diet. There’s no one size fits all approach to nutrition. So you can customize it for what you need. So I talked to it, you know, talk to it, talk to ChatGPT about what happened recently, what my current goals are, sort of giving it kind of three-tiered goals, like the first one being to reduce blood pressure. And so trying to limit sodium, the second one being to focus on making sure that cholesterol is good. I clarified dietary cholesterol like, you know, on nutrition facts, but actually my cholesterol. And then third, to lose some weight. And so it took all that into account. And so now if I eat something, like for lunch today, I can just open up my phone. Talk to it. I’ll just use the voice thing. And I say, okay, so with lunch today was a whole wheat pasta with ground turkey seasoned simply with like garlic and pepper and, you know, XYZ things along with vegetables and this and that. And then it automatically [00:04:00] puts that into a food log, but it also, I’ve gotten it to tell me sort of what my values and totals are for the day. So it’ll say like, you’ve had 150 milligrams of sodium out of 1500 milligrams. You’ve had this many calories out of this many calories for your goals. So it tells me how much wiggle room I have, which is really helpful. Sort of checking in. And that’s been working really well. Same sort of thing. You can kind of just describe it to the best of your ability or take pictures and it does its best to estimate and it’s not a hundred percent perfect. I’m sure, but it’s a really good resource for that. So yeah, just some pro tips there regarding use of AI and but with that said, why don’t we go ahead and just get into the first of our two really awesome questions here. The first question reads. Hi Dr. Duff, I’m a 38-year-old male who has had a stutter all my life. It’s gotten better over the years, but it still seems to have the biggest effect on my dating life. I will often need months to work up the courage to ask somebody on a date. And even if I do, I lose so much confidence if I stutter when I [00:05:00] finally ask. Do you have any suggestions or advice? Thanks. Well, hey, first off, thank you so much for asking this question. I appreciate the vulnerability here. I know that stuttering is something that can be embarrassing because it’s not talked about as often. Just simply as an issue. As many other things, I think that we tend to discuss it as a childhood issue as well. Like something that you’re expected to grow out of. And it is true that most cases of stuttering begin in childhood, but about 25% of people continue to experience stuttering into adulthood. And you are part of the majority here in terms of adult people who stutter because it’s much, much more common in men at about a four to one ratio in adults. Now early intervention can be very helpful. But many children with stuttering also recover on their own over time. So maybe people don’t require any intervention, some do. And the earlier the better. Treatment as an adult can be a bit variable. It can definitely help [00:06:00] with fluency and some techniques. It’s not quite as impactful as it is during those early years in childhood. Aside from the speech difficulties themselves, many adults with stuttering experience other issues like social anxiety. They often feel held back by their stuttering. So you are not alone in that, you know, you’re, you’re not the only person out there. That does stutter. You’re not alone in feeling held back and anxious because of what’s going on. We don’t precisely know what causes stuttering, but there seems to be a pretty significant genetic component. It also appears that there could be neurological differences, so differences in the actual brains of people that stutter. And we can see that through neuroimaging. And of course, development, education, all of these things matter as well. So it’s a mixed bag. There’s no one single cause, likely it’s a lot of things together. But it is relatively common. So that’s some info on stuttering. Let’s actually get to your question here. You’re looking for advice about how to deal with this more in a social context. I’m not going to give you [00:07:00] options for treatment and techniques for reducing your stutter because I don’t want to give you the impression that there’s something wrong with the fact that you do stutter. Those things are out there, right? If your goal is to reduce how significant the stutter is and help with the fluency of your speech, by all means, work on that. There’s resources out there for that. But the other side of this is the anxiety. Anxiety can be a byproduct of having a stutter because you’re afraid of how you’re going to be perceived. If you do stutter and then you have this buildup of anticipation where you feel like it might happen, you expect yourself to start stuttering. I know it’s going to happen. And then that brings it about. And yes, anxiety is one of those things that can also cause you to stutter more, it can exacerbate the issue. So it can be a vicious cycle. It’s much like people who are starting to have maybe word-finding difficulties where they’re losing words. And when they’re talking and can’t think of what things are called, if they go into a situation thinking, okay, God, I know it’s going to happen again. Here we go. [00:08:00] And then they go and they say, Hey, nice to meet you. I’m so-and-so. Have you met, uh, Oh God, here we go again. And lose the word, just makes them more anxious than it. You know, starts that process. Same thing here. Right? You’re. Like, oh God. Oh God, I really really hope I don’t screw this up. I hope I don’t stutter. And then you go to meet somebody and it happens and you’re like, ah, and then of course it’s going to keep happening because you’re anxious. All of this is to say that working on the anxiety component can really help out. There are a few things that could be components here. One would be just the basics, right? So finding a good strong diaphragmatic breathing exercise. There are many different ones out there. There are many different disciplines that have diaphragmatic breathing. Simple ones you might think of are 4-7-8 breathing. Right? So breathing in for four, holding it for seven, exhaling for eight. Box breathing where you breathe in for four. Hold it for four, exhale for four, and then hold it again for four before inhaling again. There’s alternate nostril breathing, anything that [00:09:00] is tapping into your relaxation response. And the idea is you want to use it frequently outside of stressful situations. Right? So practicing it literally as a practice. In your home, places that you’re not already feeling tense and wound up. So that you can train your body to learn how to relax on command. You’re actually activating your parasympathetic nervous system, right. Which is the opposite of the fight or flight side of your nervous system. Rest and digest. You might call it. And so you’re trying to engage that parasympathetic nervous system. And to do that, you need to have some practice, you know, certainly you can do it with effort even if you haven’t practiced, but the more your body understands that process of engaging the relaxation response. The more likely you’re going to be able to rely on it later on when you’re in a situation that is maybe tense. You also may want to make a concerted effort to engage in more prolonged exposure. So for example, many people with social anxiety or stuttering join organizations like Toastmasters [00:10:00] is one we have here in America where you go and you actually make speeches, right. You get together. I’ve never been in Toastmasters, so I don’t know exactly what the format is like, but you speak frequently. At length in front of other people. And that’s scary, right? That’s, that’s nerve-wracking for them. But yeah, that’s something that you can do to get that prolonged exposure in and get more used to the experience of being there and just rolling with it, whether you stutter or not. I want to take a quick break before I finish this question and talk about something else with you. So like I mentioned at the beginning, I’ve been pretty open about my health journey. One of my major goals right now is reducing my blood pressure. And that means that I’ve made a few changes to my diet, including reducing sodium, drinking less alcohol and also the amount of coffee that I’m drinking. I’m a pretty fast paced dude. I like going and going and going. And the other day I realized I probably drank four or five cups of coffee and I was just jamming. I was getting so much done. But that comes with the price, not only the [00:11:00] crash afterward, but also the price that I’ve been paying with my health obviously. That’s why I’m super excited that Magic Mind reached out. I’ve worked with them in the past and I love their product. Basically. It’s a mental performance shot. So it’s a little tiny bottle. And it’s super small. It goes down in one or two sips and it tastes great. It’s slightly sweet, but not too sweet. It doesn’t have that like grassy, really herbal taste. It’s very good. Did you know the caffeine doesn’t actually give you energy? Essentially what it does is it blocks your body from telling you that you’re tired, which is why you crash later on. You’re essentially just procrastinating your tiredness for later on. And in Magic Mind, they have a compound called L-theanine. I mean, which modifies the effect of caffeine to help you stay energized all day. There are all sorts of other ingredients in their formula that I don’t have time to get into for this. But I do want to mention that I’ve been feeling great. I’ve been feeling very good. In the addition of Magic Mind to my daily routine couldn’t have come at a better time personally. I can say honestly, I haven’t felt this kind of sustained energy in quite a [00:12:00] while. You drink it alongside your coffee. If you drink coffee rather than replacing it, that’s what I’ve been doing. And it works out very well. So I have a limited time offer for you guys. Right now you can get 48% off your first subscription or 20% off a one-time purchase with the code DUFF, D-U-F-F at checkout over at magicmind.com/duff. That’s magicmind.com/duff for 20% off a single purchase or 48% off your first subscription. Now we were talking about prolonged exposure and kind of getting used to speaking. And being in sort of social situations regardless of the stutter. I’m not sure if your stutter is present in sort of all different contexts, but if so, the internet can also be a great resource here. For example, voice chatting on something like Twitter spaces or I know there are other types of voice chats out there. Maybe even Discord for something that you’re into, whatever your interest might be or wherever you feel comfortable finding voice chat where you’re not on camera, but you’re just talking with people. [00:13:00] There could be some pressure there, right. I’ve done some of these before where when it’s my turn to pipe up. I’m like, Ooh. Okay, feel like, I feel like I’m on stage a little bit. So there is a little bit of pressure, but there is less potential risk, like social risk than say a dating situation or something like that. I’ve mentioned AI this episode already, but potentially using AI to practice as well like ChatGPT or any of the other ones that have voice chat because usually voice chat requires a degree of clarity to understand what you’re saying. And so it can be a platform where you feel the pressure to get your words out the right way and whether you do or not it’s given you exposure to that feeling of trying to be clear and wrestling with it a little bit. The idea for all of this is that you can put yourself into these uncomfortable positions in a controlled way. So you can start building a tolerance for the anxiety that comes along with stuttering. Or the potential of stuttering in a conversation. As always, working with a skilled therapist or a coach of some kind that focuses specifically on this issue. Speech [00:14:00] language pathologist, whoever it might be. Would obviously be helpful here. But another good strategy here I think would be to just own it and lean into it. When we’re talking about making friends or romantic connections, there’s something so disarming about self-awareness and owning something that makes you unique. There’s a huge difference between not telling somebody that you’re attracted to that you stutter. And then being upfront about it instead of saying something like, Hey, just a heads up. I have a stutter. So if I’m tripping over my tongue when I try to flirt with you, just know it’s worse when I’m actually into somebody. Right. Just turning it on its head and owning it. You don’t have to turn yourself into a joke, right? This isn’t something that has to be silly. You don’t have to demean yourself. But a little bit of humor can help to diffuse things for both of you, honestly. And also just radical self-acceptance and self-awareness is hot. People like it. People enjoy it and find it charismatic regardless of whether there is a speech issue or [00:15:00] anything else that gets in the way of that. Just the self-acceptance and that self-awareness is, you know, magnetic. These days, we’re seeing more examples of people that just own what otherwise might be an insecurity. And sure there are critics out there, but there’s also a ton of support and admiration for these people that you see online. People on social media will rise up and support people that have these insecurities they put out on front street. I don’t know much about her, but there’s a Twitch streamer that I’ve had clips pop up on my YouTube or Instagram. Her name’s or she goes by Sweet Anita. And she has Tourette’s, which is a disorder where you have tics and her tics are vocal tics. For the most part. There’s a great clip of her presenting at an awards show. I think this was a streaming award show and pretty big audience and she gets on stage and has a total tic attack. She’s trying to talk and she says, fuck. It’s, I hate you. You know, whistles. Probably every common tic of hers in [00:16:00] her kind of personal arsenal because she was nervous. I don’t remember the story. Something happened that made her nervous when she went up on stage and it just all came out there. And you know what, people were totally on board with it. They applauded her effort. They praised her. They laughed with her and not at her at the funny moments, you know, like when she said, and the award goes to my tits. Rather than saying the organization she was trying to say. Eventually she got it out. But people laughed with her. It was clearly not malicious and she laughed at herself and it was totally cool. And I’ve seen comments about it and most of the people in the comments are super supportive. And they said that was the best presentation they’ve seen, all sorts of stuff like that. So this is one area that I think social media can potentially have a positive impact. The ability to be visible and unashamed and then in turn be rewarded for that with attention and support. There are influencers on social media that openly show their stutter. There’s a stutter subreddit with over 17,000 members. [00:17:00] So I wonder if engaging with some of this content on a regular basis could help you normalize the experience and have some more self-compassion. To be clear though, you’re absolutely allowed to be frustrated by your stutter. You can feel any way you want about it. In dating and friendships. You can feel however you want to feel and you can be honest about how you feel. I would encourage you to be open about that with these people if you want to. Right. If it pisses you off, especially amongst friends, you can be straightforward about that. If there was a sentence that you were trying to say that was particularly sticky with your stutter, you could say something like, man, wow. That one was brutal. I’m getting a little annoyed at my brain this morning, I’m not going to lie. Right. Just putting it out there like this isn’t something that is completely neutral. This is something that does affect you and it’s okay. You can be honest about it. I also wouldn’t be afraid to provide maybe a little bit of guidance and education for people that you interact with. I think many people aren’t exactly sure what [00:18:00] to do when interacting with somebody that has a stutter. In other words, they might feel their own sense of discomfort because they’re not sure if they should jump in and try to finish a sentence for you or give you the word they think you’re stuck on or wait for you to finish. A simple rundown can help clear the air and make everybody a little bit more comfortable. It might sound something like this. Let’s say that you’re talking to a friend of yours or romantic interest. You could say, do you know anybody else that has a stutter? If they say no. Okay, well, I’m glad to be your token stuttering friend. Here are the basics: one, it’s not an intellectual issue, it’s not an intelligence thing. I know what I want to say. It just gets stuck sometimes. If I do get stuck, if I start to stutter, the best thing that you can do is just wait. If you could be patient and let me finish, that would be best because filling in the word or finishing my sentence, one, it doesn’t really feel good, but also it doesn’t help it come out more fluently. And please know if I stutter more, if I’m having more of a sticky stuttering moment, [00:19:00] it doesn’t mean that you did something wrong. It just happens sometimes. And I will always let you know if I’m uncomfortable or if there’s something wrong like that. Right. Something like that could be just very reassuring and normalizing. So it’s out there. It’s on the table. Nobody has questions about it. Almost a little bit of boundaries on your side about what is and isn’t okay. In terms of interacting with you and then you can move forward. The last thing I’ll mention regarding the dating aspect of all of this is that there is much more to you as a potential romantic partner than just your stutter. What else makes you you? I would encourage yourself to think about and pour yourself into these things. And your speech cadence is one part of an overall package when it comes to dating. What about your hobbies? What about your physical health? What about your style? What about your passions and values, your sense of humor, your capacity for empathy and curiosity? Just your personality in general. If you can build confidence in these other aspects of yourself and lead with those as your strengths in dating, it can really lessen and [00:20:00] mitigate that stress caused by your stutter. We all have versions of this. I have fucked up teeth. It’s definitely an insecurity of mine. I won’t lie about that. It’s just a general insecurity of mine. But especially in professional settings or romantic situations, it’s something that can be difficult. However, I also know that I’m really really good at having great conversations with people and getting to know them and drawing out deep things from them. I think I have a pretty decent sense of humor when I’m not being too awkward. I know a little bit about many things so I can usually relate to anyone. And there are aspects of my physical appearance that I do. Like, you know, my eyes, my hair, things like that. So rather than trying to force myself to ignore the insecurities that I might have, I’ve instead tried to lean into the strengths that I have. And I think everybody can find a version of that for themselves. So hopefully this response gives you some thoughts about how you can approach this. You’re absolutely doing nothing wrong by having a stutter. You’re just as worthy of love and connection [00:21:00] as anybody. There are many people out there in the world that would not be hung up on your stutter and will enjoy you as a multifaceted human. That just happens to have a different way of speaking. So thank you. Alright, and rolling straight onto question two. It reads. Hi. So I started to self harm when I was 12 until I was 15. I always used to cut my upper legs and never my arms. It was easier to hide. I still haven’t told anyone about this. My parents did find out somehow, but never spoke to me about it since we have a difficult relationship. Eventually I stopped by myself. I’m now 21. So the scars have faded but they’re still very visible and covered basically everything above my knees. I feel very ashamed about them. In the past years I dated some really nice and sweet guys, but every time it gets more serious I back away because eventually I’ll have to tell them about those scars and that just scares me. I also haven’t swum or worn dresses or shorts since then, which friends have also noticed. Do you have any advice about how to overcome this? So again, thank you [00:22:00] for the question. More vulnerability here. So I really appreciate that. And thank you for trusting me with it, especially because you don’t really talk about this with anyone. You said that you stopped cutting when you were about 15, which I want to give you props for. I’m super proud of you for that. I know it’s not easy. And I’m really glad that things didn’t accidentally turn into something that you couldn’t recover from. And now you have asked this question. So the situation here is that you have lots of little scars on your legs from cutting that are fainter than they were before, but they’re there. Not something that will go unnoticed. I’ve known many people with this exact situation. So I’m not going to try to reassure you that people might not notice or they’re not that visible. They’re there. It is what it is. It’s totally valid though that you have some hesitancy about showing anybody your scars. I don’t know what you’ve been through in your life, but presumably you were really struggling during that time in your early adolescence. People self-injure in many different ways for a wide variety of reasons, but often [00:23:00] it’s as a means to cope with overwhelming feelings or feeling disconnected from your body. Perhaps you have a history of trauma, perhaps chaos in the household where you grew up. Maybe you were just brutally depressed. I don’t know the reasons behind the behavior, but I imagine this isn’t exactly a happy time to look back on. So in a way, showing somebody your scars is like opening up that box and asking for you to be vulnerable about your difficult past. We also see a situation here where there’s been a lot of avoidance. This is very similar to what you see in people who have PTSD where they try to avoid cues or triggers that will make them recall or re-experience their trauma. And as a result, that solidifies those memories as more traumatic and it keeps them very active in the brain. Rather than just a bad memory like all other bad memories. In this case, you’ve gone to great lengths to avoid your legs. And this is totally understandable, especially as an adolescent, as a young adult. It’s a [00:24:00] difficult fucking thing for reals. But you haven’t worn bathing suits or shorts or dresses since you were a child essentially. And that gives these scars a lot of power over you. It builds them up to be this really scary thing that essentially rules your behavior in some ways. It’s not just the avoidance of the scars themselves. This has really held you back in your life. You’ve had to hold back from getting close to people for fear of being found out. And that’s so tough. I don’t want to minimize what you’ve been through already in your life, but I do find it encouraging that you’re only 21. That’s very young. You’re still very much developing as a person. And this is a perfect opportunity for you to start changing directions a little bit with this. So I’m very proud of you for asking this question. There are different facets as to how you can start to work on this. One element is going to be your own self-acceptance regarding your past and your scars. I would ask, do you personally avoid your scars when you’re by yourself? Like do you try to look at them as little as possible? Do you try to avoid seeing them when you [00:25:00] look in the mirror and things of that sort? If so, this is one area where you can start to try to normalize them. Look at your scars, trace them with your fingers or with a makeup brush. Spend time feeling them and just recognizing that they are a part of your body. This is similar advice that I might give to somebody to maybe spend more time naked to become more comfortable with their body. Look in the mirror more often to become more familiar and comfortable with their body. To normalize it. Sometimes turning things on their head can be helpful. There’s a really great artist that came to mind. She paints artistic nudes of primarily women but also men and other genders. Her handle is Maggie’s Girls. So maggies.girls on Instagram really beautiful stuff. I suggest you check it out. She tells a story that she was very, very insecure about her body. And so she started painting herself. She started turning, you know, taking pictures of herself in underwear or nude and painting them. And turning it into art [00:26:00], right? Taking her insecurity about her body and making art out of that. Which helped her build a ton of confidence and it ended up turning into a business where she helps other people too. Maybe you can find your version of that. Turn your experience and history into something beautiful. It can also help to start being more open with people that you trust about the fact that you have scars. This can absolutely be difficult. So you can do this gradually. And maybe if you’re not ready and it feels more threatening to talk to people you know and trust, maybe online communities where you can be more anonymous is the first place that you go. And then you can talk to your most trusted people or your therapist. If you have one. And from there you can start to just be a little bit more open about them in general. All of this serves the purpose of normalizing your body and also giving you some exposure to the internal stuff. The anxiety that comes along with this sort of vulnerability because it is hard. And it’s something that takes getting used to, but doing this will help you start to tolerate it better. Your scars are [00:27:00] part of who you are. And I bet you are an interesting multifaceted human with many aspects that are awesome about you. There’s nothing wrong with you for having these scars. It may even help to reframe it a bit. If you think about it, you have scars from injuries in your past. That’s simply what they are. We all have scars from injuries. Well, many of us do. Some people were ill and had to get their appendix taken out. Some people got sick and had to have open-heart surgery and have a whole split-down-the-middle scar. You were sick and you have scars to prove it. And those scars actually mean that you were trying really hard to stay alive as well. Is everybody out there accepting and gracious and totally cool with self-harm scars? No, of course not. There are definitely trolls out there, and that can be really, really hurtful. But from what you described, you’ve been with some very kind people and I think it’s worth it to give people the opportunity to be decent towards you. I think that most people who are worth your time in dating are going to be interested, maybe [00:28:00] concerned, maybe curious, but not judgemental or turned off in a mean way about it. You’re not gross. You are not damaged goods. Ideally, what we want is for you to become comfortable enough that you don’t need to hide your legs all the time on a daily basis. You can choose what you wear by the circumstances and the weather instead of if your scars are showing or not. If someone’s curious about them, they’re allowed to ask, and you have the right to share or not share as much as you’d like. You could say something as simple as, oh, thanks for asking. I don’t really want to talk about that though, or I don’t feel comfortable talking about these. Any variation of that? On the other hand, you could also say something like, oh, these, yeah, these are scars from my past. It’s taken a long time to get comfortable enough not to hide them. Right. Something like that. The ball is in your court. When it comes to disclosing, you don’t have to do anything. And I don’t want to be all sunshine and rainbows and shit, but there’s definitely something potentially empowering about owning your scars. They’re the physical evidence of how [00:29:00] far you’ve come. You’re not in that place anymore. At least it doesn’t sound like it. You’re not hurting yourself in the same way. And that’s powerful. So overall, my advice to you is to start with normalizing your scars for your own self. Then begin to get more comfortable with them being visible or talked about. When it comes to getting close to people that you’re dating, you’re not obliged to tell them anything at all until you feel ready. But if you want to. You are allowed and you totally deserve to own them and claim them as the literal battle scars from the life that you’ve already lived, which I’m sure has made you a more interesting and deep person. So best of luck to you. I think that you’re going to be all right. And I really hope that your scars limit you less and less as time goes on. Thank you to everybody for listening. I really, really appreciate your attention. If you want the full show notes go head over to duffthepsych.com/episode399. Don’t forget to check out Magic Mind, magicmind.com/duff. Coupon code DUFF. And I’ll see you for the next episode. [00:30:00] Bye.

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